¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Part1 - The article divided into two parts because of word\'s limitation.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ö
2021-02-23 1084

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Because of high-speedy public transportation and globalization, people feel free to travel not only domestic places, but also foreign countries. It is true that some people argue on downsides of prodigious tourists in terms of environment and dwellers. However, I believe that international tourism has brought more benefits for couple of reasons. This essay is going to describe about it.
To start with, some citizens complain about environmental damage because of foreigners. For example, one of the most famous cities in Korea, Jeju island, suffer from dealing with tons of garbage dumped by tourists. So, the city government has been on construction of high qualified incinerator to handle it. That means residents have to pay more taxes because of not them but tourists. Another problem is continuous interference of their own living areas especially provided they live in traditional houses. Many tourists are trying to look into the house since they are curious about the inside of the build-

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Charles!

You have very well organized facts and very good arguments here on your essay. My comment will also be continued on the next part.

Thanks for taking time to answer the homework IELTS question!

-T. Donna =)

Because of high-speedy public transportation and globalization, people feel free to travel not only domestic places, but also foreign countries. 
>> Because of high-speedy public transportation and globalization, people feel free to travel not only in domestic places, but also foreign countries. 

It is true that some people argue on downsides of prodigious tourists in terms of environment and dwellers. However, I believe that international tourism has brought more benefits for couple of reasons. This essay is going to describe about it.
>> It is true that some people argue on the downsides of prodigious tourists in terms of the environment and the dwellers. However, I believe that international tourism has brought more benefits for a couple of reasons. This essay is going to describe about them.

To start with, some citizens complain about environmental damage because of foreigners. 
>> Correct!

For example, one of the most famous cities in Korea, Jeju island, suffer from dealing with tons of garbage dumped by tourists. 
>> Correct!

So, the city government has been on construction of high qualified incinerator to handle it. 
>> Correct!

That means residents have to pay more taxes because of not them but tourists. 
>> That means residents have to pay more taxes not them but for the tourists. 

Another problem is continuous interference of their own living areas especially provided they live in traditional houses. 
>> Another problem is the continuous interference of their own living areas especially the traditional houses. 

Many tourists are trying to look into the house since they are curious about the inside of the build-
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106448 homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 25
106447 One of the most important issues facing the world today is a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 3652
106446 Do we need to be honest all the time? Why or why not? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4126
106445 question ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 3890
106444 Who is the most controversial politician in your country? Why... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4320
106443 Describe an enjoyable dinner that you had with friends ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4413
106442 How can traveling be educational? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5046
106441 Where is best for you to stay over? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 6400
106440 2 nurses test positive for COVID-19 after Pfizer vaccine shots À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106439 What problems have you encountered in using the English... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4031
106438 What was the first thing you bought after you got your very... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4210
106437 Homework ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 2
106436 How do you like to relax after a tiring day at work? ½Å*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106435 What I focused to cultivate now. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4791
106434 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4474
106433 introduction myself ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 3520
106432 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1
106431 What hobbies do men prefer? Which hobbies do women especially... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 5039
106430 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 1
106429 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04