¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are going to save up some money for something, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-15 4535

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to buy my own house especially in seoul. The prices of buildings in seoul increase every year deeply. so I want to buy it as soon as possible. if I have a job, I loan the money and buy house. That's more efficient than saving money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! Investing in a house is very good especially for your future. Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I want to buy my own house especially in seoul. 
>> I want to buy my own house especially in Seoul. 

The prices of buildings in seoul increase every year deeply. 
>> The prices of buildings in Seoul increase every year deeply so I want to buy one as soon as possible. 

so I want to buy it as soon as possible.
>>CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 if I have a job, I loan the money and buy house. 
>> If I have a job, I will loan some money and buy a house. 

That's more efficient than saving money.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107645 Do you like traveling with children? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 603
107644 What chores are your responsibility? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 605
107643 How much time do usually spend when talking to someone on the... ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 769
107642 INTERVIEW Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107641 House chores ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 721
107640 email5 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107639 email3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107638 email2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107637 email1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0
107636 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 445
107635 A school field trip in Everland ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 2
107634 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 849
107633 Describe the wedding you\'ve been to or heard about. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 3
107632 What is the most expensive kind of alcohol in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 737
107631 If you can have a big birthday party, how do you want it to be... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 678
107630 email3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 0
107629 Work email2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 0
107628 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-18 0
107627 Is homeschooling an effective method of education? Why or why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 894
107626 Who I am... Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-04-17 567

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04