¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion about physical education in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-09 529

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. We should often move our body. Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. And I think it can also relieve their stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! That's true! Physical education is as important as other subjects in school. It should not be neglected. It can help us a lot in terms of keeping fit and being athletic. 

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Yes, I think. Because only sitting down on a chair is not good for our health. 
>> Yes, I think because only sitting down is not good for our health. 

We should often move our body.
>> CORRECT

Students should grow up so I think it¡¯s helpful for their growth. 
>> Students grow up and this would be beneficial for their growth. 

And I think it can also relieve their stress.
>> And I also think that it can relieve stress. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107274 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107273 Public opposes Chinatown in Gangwon province À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107272 Is it okay to drink ranwater? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 495
107271 Someday ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 3
107270 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 393
107269 Who is your role model in your life? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107268 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 512
107267 I would rather work with a female. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 480
107266 Homework 4.7 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 673
107265 My... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 2
107264 Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 536
107263 Who is your role model in your life? Why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107262 Marriage is no longer necessary nowadays. Do you agree or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107261 What would life be like without weekends? Do you have enough... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 567
107260 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 10
107259 Tell me about the proper way of taking care of our skin Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 549
107258 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 538
107257 the synonyms of the words and use them in a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107256 how would you know if a person is good or not during your first... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107255 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04