¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-04-16 633

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree to a certain extent.
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
And they get sense of closeness.
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Eden! Thanks for doing the homework today! I appreciate your effort so keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree to a certain extent.
>>> CORRECT
Thease days, parent is too busy to difficult care about their's children.
>>> These days, parents are too busy to take care of their children.
So, it is helpful for their's grandparent and uncle, aunt to help.
>>> So, there is a need for their grandparents uncle, and aunt to help.
Also children can learn about manners from their's grandparent.
>>> Also, children can learn about good manners from their grandparents.
And they get sense of closeness.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, the advantages are bigger than disadvantages, it is helpful to upbring is very useful to parent and children.
>>>Therefore, the advantages are bigger than the disadvantages, it is helpful to up bring children by their parents.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107926 Aside from relieving the traffic congestion, what do you think... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 691
107925 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 734
107924 Influential person Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 787
107923 Tell me something about your city. ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 747
107922 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 1
107921 I think that almost children leave their family or parents at... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 756
107920 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 659
107919 What country would you like to visit someday? And why. ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 601
107918 Dose your hobby influence your choice of friend? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 2
107917 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107916 Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 750
107915 Which part of your country do most people live in? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 595
107914 homework_21.04.22 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 2
107913 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 0
107912 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-27 4
107911 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 1
107910 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 562
107909 Do you think that women should also join the military there in... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 3
107908 Homework (270) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 677
107907 The reason why I want to go back in time and be a little kid... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-26 657

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04