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Homework: Do you believe that people must work hard to become successful? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-04-28 672

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The criteria of success can be interpreted in different ways for each person.
But, generally, my opinion of this agenda is, I don't think all people who work hard can be successful, but I believe working hard is essential to result successfully.
Based on my experiences, as more work as I had, I could have more clear insight, and get used to doing a task as time goes by.
Besides, that kind of experience can give us some different ways of point of view which helps us to find the right direction.
For example, regarding a situation where an issue has occurred, the experiences which were originated by our effort during hard-working for troubleshooting could be helpful to resolve.
However, despite the hard-working, some people may struggle to achieve their own target. And, I think it's due to the wrong direction of their effort.
So, in the condition of the right direction, I believe someone who works hard for their task, can be successful as long as they keep concentrating.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Nicely done, Homer!~ 

Thank you for submitting a composition.
You will find the corrections of this composition at the bottom of this field. 
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Have a good day!~ 


~t. Ally


------------------------------

The criteria of success can be interpreted in different ways for each person.
>> CORRECT!

But, generally, my opinion of this agenda is, I don't think all people who work hard can be successful, but I believe working hard is essential to result successfully.
>> But, generally, my opinion on this agenda is, I don't think all people who work hard can be successful, but I believe that working hard is essential to being successful. 

Based on my experiences, as more work as I had, I could have more clear insight, and get used to doing a task as time goes by.
>> Based on my experiences, the more work I had, the clearer my insight became, and I got used to doing a task as time went on.

Besides, that kind of experience can give us some different ways of point of view which helps us to find the right direction.
>> Besides that, that kind of experience can give us a different point of view which then helps us find the right direction.

For example, regarding a situation where an issue has occurred, the experiences which were originated by our effort during hard-working for troubleshooting could be helpful to resolve.
>> For example, if a situation where an issue occurs happens, the experiences a person has gained from their efforts of hard work in troubleshooting something could be helpful to resolve the situation.

However, despite the hard-working, some people may struggle to achieve their own target. And, I think it's due to the wrong direction of their effort.
>> However, despite their hard work, some people may still struggle to achieve their own target, and I think it's due to the wrong direction of their effort.

So, in the condition of the right direction, I believe someone who works hard for their task, can be successful as long as they keep concentrating.
>> CORRECT!
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