¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did, what might you do to celebrate?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-04-30 590

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can reward myself for living untill now.
Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
But I am living in my house very normaly.
Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! It's actually nice to treat yourself sometimes for the efforts that you do on something. A pat on the shoulder makes us appreciate ourselves. :) It motivates us more to do great things. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I can reward myself for living untill now.
>>  I can reward myself by living my life right now. 

Too many people die in one day, and too many people live in poverty.
>> CORRECT

Too many people do war, and too many people want lots of money.
>>Many people are in war and many people want lots of money.

Too many people want to get power, and too many people use it to bad way.
>> Some want power and use it in a bad way. 

Because of these reasons, many people die in one day.
>> Because of these reasons, many people die in a day.

But I am living in my house very normaly.
>> As of now, I am living my life normally. 

Now is Covid-19 age, but I am breathing and moving in my house very very normaly.
>> Even though there is COVID, I still live my live normally. 

So I am thanks for living in here untill now, and I want to reward myself for living untill now.
>> That's why I am thankful with what I have right now and I want to reward myself for being contented with it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108362 What do you do after when you argue with someone? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108361 How did your parents raise you? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108360 Doosan heavy to extract hydrogen from plastic waste À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108359 Homework (280) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 457
108358 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108357 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108356 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 570
108355 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 532
108354 Personally, do you think people can really stop using plastic?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 479
108353 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 795
108352 Did you know that Abraham Lincoln supposedly foresaw his own... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 555
108351 Do you walk every day? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 773
108350 Homework 5.10.MON ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 643
108349 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 555
108348 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 3
108347 Staying in Hanok ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 802
108346 Yes...but the reason is too bad..¤Ì¤Ì ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 619
108345 If you were on a deserted island, what would you bring and why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 633
108344 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 0
108343 Why do wear shous? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 566

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04