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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What can you say about the job of a teacher?

작성자: 유*연
2021-05-13 466

회원님의 영작문

I have experience as a teacher at an academy and managing teachers as a business owner. Through two similar and contrasting experiences, I was able to think deeply about the profession of a teacher. When I working as a teacher, I thought it was only the teacher's job to teach well and improve grades for the purpose of its job, I could see it from a different perspective while running a business. Students (especially young students) are like rubber balls that we can hardly predict where they are going and teachers' behavior can affect their lives in any unexpected direction. So, teachers should treat their students with patience and passion considering that their behavior will have a significant impact even though it seems to be small at this moment.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Gianna! Experience will let you understand the situation of another person :) Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the profession of a teacher. Have a great day
~Aki :)
I have experience as a teacher at an academy and managing teachers as a business owner. 
>> > I had an experience as a teacher in an academy and managing teachers as a business owner
Through two similar and contrasting experiences, I was able to think deeply about the profession of a teacher. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> Through these two similar and contrasting experiences, I was to have a deeper thought about the profession of a teacher.
When I working as a teacher, I thought it was only the teacher's job to teach well and improve grades for the purpose of its job, I could see it from a different perspective while running a business. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> As a teacher, I only thought about the purpose of the job that is to teach and improve the grades of the learners, Which I found different when I run the business.
Students (especially young students) are like rubber balls that we can hardly predict where they are going and teachers' behavior can affect their lives in any unexpected direction. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>> Students especially the young learners, are unpredictable and the behavior of a teacher affects their unexpected ways.
So, teachers should treat their students with patience and passion considering that their behavior will have a significant impact even though it seems to be small at this moment.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>> Teachers must be full of patience and passion in dealing with their students, considering that their behavior plays an important role in their student's very young minds.
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