¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-01 225

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best way to prevent cell phone addiction is

First. It is to limit the time of using the cell phone.

Second. It is to make another hobbys. Then I will be able to cut back on using my cell phone. because. I do another hobbys.

Third. It is I don't intall too many games on my phone. because If I don't see the games you'll feel less inclined to play it.

these sre the best ways for me to sanction cell phone use.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jenny,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)





The best way to prevent cell phone addiction is
>>> The best way to prevent cell phone addiction is the following. 


First. It is to limit the time of using the cell phone.
>>> First, is to limit the time of using the cell phone.

Second. It is to make another hobbys. Then I will be able to cut back on using my cell phone. because. I do another hobbys.
>>> Second is to make another hobby. In doing so, I will be able to cut back on using my cell phone because I do other hobbies.

Third. It is I don't intall too many games on my phone. because If I don't see the games you'll feel less inclined to play it.
>>> Third is not to install too many games on my phone because if I don't see the games then I'll feel less inclined to play them.

these sre the best ways for me to sanction cell phone use.
>>> These are the best ways for me to sanction cell phone use.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109596 Who shoud pay on dates? À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109595 Use the words in a sentence ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 213
109594 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 0
109593 What would you say is the best thing about living in your town... ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109592 What do you think about people who have HIV? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109591 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 259
109590 Homework (303) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 281
109589 How can I help a friend? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109588 My summer activities! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 466
109587 Do many people in your country study abroad? Why do you think... ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 465
109586 After I retire ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 338
109585 What are the advantages and disadvantages of cooking your food... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 309
109584 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 634
109583 What was the most memorable vacation that you had with your... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 242
109582 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 272
109581 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 251
109580 Email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 276
109579 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 234
109578 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109577 What is your cards? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 285

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04