¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-07-06 344

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Eggs can be used for many purposes.

First, We can use it to eat. and There are many ways to eat eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.

Second, We also make bread or cake out of eggs.

Third, Our ancestors are used eggs to get rid of bruises. We somtimes use this way.

Fourth, Singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs? haha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello JENNY,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


Eggs can be used for many purposes.
>>> CORRECT

First, We can use it to eat. and There are many ways to eat eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.
>>> First, we can eat it and there are many ways to cook eggs. We can have fried eggs or boiled eggs.

Second, we also make bread or cake out of eggs.
>>> CORRECT
OR: Second, we can also bake bread and cakes using eggs as an ingredient.

Third, Our ancestors are used eggs to get rid of bruises. We somtimes use this way.
>>> Third, our ancestors used eggs to get rid of their bruises. We sometimes use it this way.

Fourth, Singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs? haha
>>> Fourth, singers sometimes eat eggs to warm up their voices. But it doesn't smell fishy if you eat raw eggs.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111466 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111465 planning of America ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 273
111464 Where would you like to visit someday? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 307
111463 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111462 What\'s the most difficult English skill for you? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 363
111461 Homework(*^U^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 347
111460 What my mom will cook in my birthday ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 390
111459 Which among the 10 Finnish innovations has the least use? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111458 what is better to have? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 372
111457 What do you think are the qualities of a good leader? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 291
111456 Writing task: Who is a better cook, your mother or your... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111455 South Korea sends back 1 unidentified Afghan during evacuation :... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111454 13 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 400
111453 I Think a Singapore has cleanest air Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 612
111452 HOME is house with family ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 287
111451 8.31 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111450 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 368
111449 Shakespear\'s invented Words À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111448 Do you have any tips for making air travel more enjoyable? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 258
111447 What countries do you imagine have the cleanest air? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 282

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04