¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*Çö
2021-07-08 325

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If crime commit reason is poverty, it is not valid.
because, crime reason is under any circumstance is not acknowledgment.
crime can forgive, but crime can not acknowledgment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hyeon! ^^

One of the reasons that poverty has been associated with crime is because it is an opportunity for the poor to acquire materials that they could otherwise not afford. Poverty can also produce violent crimes because force is an easy way to get a large quantity of goods. Regardless of this, poverty is still not a valid reason to commit crime. Thanks for sharing your answer. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If crime commit reason is poverty, it is not valid.
>> If a person commits crime because of poverty, it is not a valid reason. 

because, crime reason is under any circumstance is not acknowledgment.
>> It is because crime should never be acknowledged under any circumstances. 

crime can forgive, but crime can not acknowledgment.
>> Crimes are forgivable but not be acknowledged due to poverty. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109187 what are you afraid of? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 357
109186 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109185 What advice will you say to a newly hired worker who is... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 348
109184 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 419
109183 My goal ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 299
109182 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 377
109181 Homework (299) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 424
109180 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 373
109179 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 376
109178 What is the fiercest or the most dangerous animal for you? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 2
109177 What are the things that people used to do before but not... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109176 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 1
109175 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 423
109174 one of the goals. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 425
109173 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 303
109172 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 346
109171 Addicts ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 3
109170 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 357
109169 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 367
109168 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-07 345

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04