¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

holiday

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿µ
2021-07-26 432

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday. My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester. So I want to make that day a holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yeong! ^^

Wow! That's a great choice! I think that would be a great holiday that you will enjoy. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make a holiday, I want to make a holiday on my birthday.
>>If I can make a holiday, I want to make my birthday a holiday. 

My birthday is March 21st, when the new semester starts at school. 
>>My birthday is on March 21st, the day when new semesters starts in schools. 

So I will play with new friends that morning and spend time with my family in the evening. 
>> CORRECT

I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the new semester.
>> I remember being busy all the time because my birthday is the start of a new semester.

 So I want to make that day a holiday.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108763 What are the benefits of traveling? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 993
108762 Wrongfully convicted US brothers who spent 31 years in prison to... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-23 1
108761 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 1
108760 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 3
108759 How is beauty defines in your culture? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 504
108758 What\'s your most valued possession? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 497
108757 Does struggling for something make you strive for more or makes... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 517
108756 Do you struggle with your timetable these days? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 639
108755 Do you personally teach your teammates how to handle work... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 657
108754 Do you have high expectations for the team you work with? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 562
108753 Um...mabye the story will be scary..... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 546
108752 why is doing volunteer work important? ±è*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 557
108751 Homework🍩 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 660
108750 What do you say when you want to invite someone to your party? ÃÖ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 567
108749 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 598
108748 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-22 4
108747 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 838
108746 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 550
108745 Homework (288) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 847
108744 How is beauty defined in your culture? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 553

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04