¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in a different country? Explain your a

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-07-27 259

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, I think working in Korea is better than working in a different country.
First, Korea is my home country, so I can communicate with them very natuarally with Korea language.
Second, Korea is low birth rate while a lot of jobs are made.
Because of it, we can get a job more easly than a different country.
And third, my country, Korea improving a lot of technologies.
So I think working in Korea is better than working in a different country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

There are many reasons why working abroad will benefit both yourself personally, and your career. Two of the most obvious (yet still important) are: Better career opportunities and prospects: Depending on your skill set, there may be a greater range of career opportunities open to you outside your home market.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, I think working in Korea is better than working in a different country.
>> CORRECT

First, Korea is my home country, so I can communicate with them very natuarally with Korea language.
>>First, Korea is my home country so I can communicate with them very naturally with the Korean language.

Second, Korea is low birth rate while a lot of jobs are made.
>>
Second, Korea has a low birth rate while a lot of jobs are made.

Because of it, we can get a job more easly than a different country.
>>Because of it, we can get a job more easily here than a different country.

And third, my country, Korea improving a lot of technologies.
>> Technologies here are also improving a lot. 

So I think working in Korea is better than working in a different country.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111664 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 5
111663 page 33 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 245
111662 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 211
111661 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 245
111660 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 235
111659 oh my god!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 266
111658 9.6 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111657 HOMEWORK : How do you introduce yourself to someone? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111656 In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 281
111655 How often do you eat out? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 274
111654 Donating money to poor people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 240
111653 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 253
111652 0906 yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2
111651 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 258
111650 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111649 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2
111648 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 271
111647 Homework {09/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 322
111646 Which one do you prefer, working alone or working with other... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 342
111645 34 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 251

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04