¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house once you have a job? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*À±
2021-08-03 337

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is very necessary. Because I have to learn how to servive alone and improve their independent skills. And if I get a job, I can have economic ability to live by being self sufficient.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun! ^^

Moving away from home is considered a milestone in one¡¯s life, an event that clearly marks the stepping out of childhood into maturity and designates the beginning of an independent, self-reliant life. Once you move out of your parents¡¯ house, you will have the liberty to make your own choices and enjoy the lifestyle you¡¯ve always wanted for yourself. However, you will also have the responsibility to provide for your own needs, to find a way out of every difficult situation you encounter, and to create a life for yourself that is vibrant, progressive, and genuinely fulfilled.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think it is very necessary. Because I have to learn how to servive alone and improve their independent skills. 
>> I think it is very necessary because we have to learn how to survive alone and improve our independent skills. 

And if I get a job, I can have economic ability to live by being self sufficient.
>>And if I get a job, I can have the economic ability to live by being self sufficient.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110199 Monday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 242
110198 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 232
110197 How do you control your anger? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 2
110196 The reason why °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 322
110195 Friday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 269
110194 home work on July 21 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110193 Nice to meet you, sir! ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 322
110192 What do you think about taking a nap? How about sleeping in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110191 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110190 Japan medical body conditionally approves womb transplants À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 1
110189 If one song were to describe your life, What song would it be? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 314
110188 How can you describe your family? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 2
110187 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 274
110186 Thursday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 298
110185 Are you a spender or a saver of money? Why? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 402
110184 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 0
110183 family ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 358
110182 What is the worst kind of pollution in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 2
110181 Writing: How do you respond to customers\' queries about your... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 284
110180 Cut ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04