¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Friday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-08-06 294

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:Can you think of a device that makes people's lives easier?
A:I can think of device that cleans home and wash dishes or do other house chores.
First, I think many people think house chores is annoying thing, so if there is device that do house chores then people's lives will be easier.
Second, if there is device that do house chores, then people can do another thing when they should have been doing their house chores.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I can think of device that cleans home and wash dishes or do other house chores.

>> I can think of a device that cleans homes, washes dishes, or does other house chores.
First, I think many people think house chores is annoying thing, so if there is device that do house chores then people's lives will be easier.

>> I think a lot of people think house chores are annoying, so if there is a device that does house chores then people's lives will be easier.
Second, if there is device that do house chores, then people can do another thing when they should have been doing their house chores.

>> If there is a device that does house chores, then people can do other things when they should have been doing their house chores.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110150 home work on July 19 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110149 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 1
110148 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 403
110147 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 412
110146 Are you a spender or a saver of money? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110145 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 564
110144 It\'s my life ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 418
110143 Thursday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 474
110142 Wednesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 418
110141 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2021-07-19 287
110140 Tuesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 487
110139 My hobby. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110138 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 302
110137 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110136 30 page ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 363
110135 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 400
110134 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 364
110133 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 513
110132 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110131 People these days watch TV, films and other programs alone... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 445

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04