¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to become easier and convenient? Expla

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-08-09 202

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think if we want to live more easier and convenient, we have to invent the device that can make planet's environment more clean.
Nowadays, our planet's environment is really bad because of we and this environment problems will cause more bigger problems.
So if we invent the device that can make planet's environment clean, it will prevent more bigger problems that the pollution will cause.
So I think if we want to live more easier and convenient, we have to invent the device that can make planet's environment more clean.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Over the years, technology has revolutionized our world and daily lives. Additionally, technology for seniors has created amazing tools and resources, putting useful information at our fingertips. Modern technology has paved the way for multi-functional devices like the smartwatch and the smartphone. Computers are increasingly faster, more portable, and higher-powered than ever before. With all of these revolutions, technology has also made our lives easier, faster, better, and more fun. 

Your suggestion is actually a good choice. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

I think if we want to live more easier and convenient, we have to invent the device that can make planet's environment more clean.
>>I think if we want to live more easier and convenient, we have to invent a device that can make the planet's environment cleaner.

Nowadays, our planet's environment is really bad because of we and this environment problems will cause more bigger problems.
>>Nowadays, our planet's environment is really bad because of what we are doing to the environment which will cause bigger problems.

So if we invent the device that can make planet's environment clean, it will prevent more bigger problems that the pollution will cause.
>> So if we invent a device that can make the planet's environment cleaner, it will prevent more bigger problems that pollution will cause.

So I think if we want to live more easier and convenient, we have to invent the device that can make planet's environment more clean.
>> So, I think if we want to live more easier and convenient, we have to invent a device that can make the planet's environment cleaner.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110939 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 6
110938 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 204
110937 Robots to Cook Soldiers\' Chow À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110936 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110935 What do you think about a Dutch treat? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 1
110934 The special exhibition of the Hero ¡°Hong Bum-Do¡± in Bongoh... È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110933 Fall ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 209
110932 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110931 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110930 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 5
110929 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110928 I enjoyed to learn an english Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 222
110927 My favorite place is... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 7
110926 Do you agree with the idea of less consideration about the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110925 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 198
110924 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 187
110923 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 174
110922 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 168
110921 Writing task: Are there any values that your parents tried to... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110920 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04