¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*¿ì
2021-08-12 285

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is important for students.
Because we have a limit on study in only school. So I think we need to have some extra studies.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kane! ^^

I think this is beneficial for students in terms of preparing for the universities that they are gonna go to in the future. But this can also lessen the time to enjoy you childhood since you would be studying most of the time. It has both advantages and disadvantages. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think it is important for students.
>> I think it is important for students because our studying time is limited in our school. 

Because we have a limit on study in only school. 
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

So I think we need to have some extra studies.
>>So, I think we need to have some extra time to study. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110163 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3
110162 IELTS test question Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110161 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 360
110160 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 352
110159 Friday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 441
110158 Homework ¿ì*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 406
110157 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 453
110156 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110155 Page 34 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110154 Are you a spender or a saver of money? Why? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 399
110153 I love fish and seafood. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 382
110152 home work on July 16 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110151 If you had the power to go back to the past and the future,... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 384
110150 home work on July 19 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110149 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 1
110148 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 399
110147 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 406
110146 Are you a spender or a saver of money? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110145 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 558
110144 It\'s my life ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 411

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04