¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-08-20 335

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Related with time management, students could have different feelings about studying at home.
The advantage of studying at home is students can manage their time well. Because they don¡¯t go to school, they could have more time to do other things instead of commuting. Therefore, students could learn how to manage their time and plan their schedules more properly when they are staying at home. In this point, studying at home could help self-directed students.
The disadvantage of studying at home is students can waste their time. In contrast of students who can set their plans, they tend to have no wills to live diligent. These people feel hard to plan their schedules and to live deliberately. They need knowledge for time management, and they have to be checked their plans by teachers until they are accustomed with planning.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Ria!
^^,)
This is a very good composition. Thank you for finding time to accomplish your homework.
I can see that you tried you best to cite the advantage and disadvantage of studying at home.
You did a good job here! I truly appreciate your effort.

I hope you'll have a safe weekend. Good night!

__T. Mayleen :)


Related with time management, students could have different feelings about studying at home.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: Related with time management, students could have different reactions about studying at home.
The advantage of studying at home is students can manage their time well. 
>>> CORRECT
Because they don¡¯t go to school, they could have more time to do other things instead of commuting. 
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: They don¡¯t go to school, thus, they have more time to do other things instead of commuting. 
Therefore, students could learn how to manage their time and plan their schedules more properly when they are staying at home. 
>>> CORRECT
In this point, studying at home could help self-directed students.
>>> At this point, studying at home could help, self-directed students.
The disadvantage of studying at home is students can waste their time. 
>>> CORRECT
In contrast of students who can set their plans, they tend to have no wills to live diligent. 
>>> In contrast to students who can set their plans, some seem to have no will to live diligently. 
These people feel hard to plan their schedules and to live deliberately. 
>>> These students find it hard to plan their schedule and to live zealously.
They need knowledge for time management, and they have to be checked their plans by teachers until they are accustomed with planning.
>>> They need to learn time management and their teachers have to check their plans until they are accustomed to planning things independently.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110846 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 2
110845 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 400
110844 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 401
110843 What are you crossing your fingers for? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 379
110842 I\'m living in dongtan ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 354
110841 Which do you appreciate more in music, theory or practice? Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 1
110840 Where is the best place for you to work? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110839 Where do young people in this country usually spend their free... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 332
110838 Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 352
110837 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 328
110836 Calm ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 1
110835 I hate a melon like a radish. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 326
110834 page 27 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 266
110833 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 288
110832 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 331
110831 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 379
110830 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110829 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 341
110828 I agree with Henry\'s opinion! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 373
110827 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04