¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should refugees have equal rights with Koreans at work? Share your answer in a short paragraph.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-08-30 276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think accepting refugees means accepting them as members of our society. Thus they should have same status, rights and responsibility as other Koreans. Giving them equal rights at work does not mean that we should give them the jobs unconditionally or we should pay them the salary regardless of their output. Being equal means giving them equivalent chances to find out the job and proper salary for how they worked. Since we accepted them as the members of our society, it is reasonable to treat them equally. However, they might need more assistances to adapt themselves to our society. Therefore, we should be more tolerant to them and try to understand their difficulties.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Vicky!

I believe that you have a very good understanding of the situation of the refugees there in your country. Although they may be short of skills and have a different set of work culture, we know that this is the case because they came from a country of anarchy and less opportunity. To expect them to work as hard as you do may frustrate you.

Anyway, if you take a look at your sentences below, they are all grammatically perfect, well done! The usage of comma is the only insertion made to the first sentence. However, be careful as not to overuse this mark in your sentences. Congratulations!

See you then!

-T. Donna =)

I think accepting refugees means accepting them as members of our society. Thus they should have same status, rights and responsibility as other Koreans.
>> Correct!
Or: Thus, they should have same status, rights, and responsibility as other Koreans.

 Giving them equal rights at work does not mean that we should give them the jobs unconditionally or we should pay them the salary regardless of their output.
>> Correct!

 Being equal means giving them equivalent chances to find out the job and proper salary for how they worked. 
>> Correct!

Since we accepted them as the members of our society, it is reasonable to treat them equally. 
>> Correct!

However, they might need more assistances to adapt themselves to our society. 
>> Correct!

Therefore, we should be more tolerant to them and try to understand their difficulties.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110846 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 2
110845 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 401
110844 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 401
110843 What are you crossing your fingers for? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 379
110842 I\'m living in dongtan ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 354
110841 Which do you appreciate more in music, theory or practice? Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 1
110840 Where is the best place for you to work? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110839 Where do young people in this country usually spend their free... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 333
110838 Do you think piano lessons are important for student\'s... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 352
110837 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 328
110836 Calm ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 1
110835 I hate a melon like a radish. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 326
110834 page 27 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 267
110833 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 288
110832 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 331
110831 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 379
110830 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 2
110829 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 342
110828 I agree with Henry\'s opinion! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 373
110827 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04