무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts task 1

작성자: 이*구
2021-09-03 537

회원님의 영작문



The chart below shows the transport preference among young people from four countries.
Among all categories car has the majority in almost every countries, reaching over 40% in every nations. In addition, they are higher than other two vehicles combined, excepting Germany.
In Great Britain and U.S.A car is the most preferred transport. It’s rate reach 6%. But other vehicle are not same but similar. Great Britain’s motorcycle preference is 10% and bicycle reach 30%, while U.S.A’s record was opposite. Motorcycle reach 30% and bicycle 10%. France’s car preference was the most dominant in every given records. It reached more than 70%. In contrast, Germany’s car favor was also high but couldn’t get the first place in their country, also reach the lowest car preference in four nations. Their bicycle preference is higher than car, although gap between two sectors are close.
In conclusion, almost every given countries generally likes to drive cars more than other vehicles.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Ian!

I think that you have a very good grasp of the organization of your discussion from the introduction, body, and conclusion. There are a few grammar slips that are important for you to note:

          1.) every- this is singular in use: Every man, every person, every country, every boy, etc.
          2.)  the - study the use of this determiner in all the inserted parts of your sentences.
          3.) reach vs reached - be consistent with the use of the tense of the verb; this is a previous research so the verbs are in the past tense.

Nonetheless, this is a very well-written IELTS answer. I will rate this at 7.2 minus the grammar mistakes (-.4) , around 6.8. So work on the suggestions and see you in class next week.

Happy weekend to you!

-T. Donna =)

The chart below shows the transport preference among young people from four countries.
>> Correct!

Among all categories car has the majority in almost every countries, reaching over 40% in every nations. In addition, they are higher than other two vehicles combined, excepting Germany.
>> Among all categories, car has the majority in almost every country, reaching over 40% in every nation. In addition, they are higher than the other two vehicles combined, except in Germany.

In Great Britain and U.S.A car is the most preferred transport. It’s rate reach 6%. But other vehicle are not same but similar. 
>> In Great Britain and U.S.A, car is the most preferred transport. It’s rate reached 6%. But other vehicles are not the same but similar. 

Great Britain’s motorcycle preference is 10% and bicycle reach 30%, while U.S.A’s record was opposite. 
>> Great Britain’s motorcycle preference is 10% and bicycle reached 30%, while U.S.A’s record was the opposite. 

Motorcycle reach 30% and bicycle 10%. France’s car preference was the most dominant in every given records. 
>> Motorcycle reached 30% and bicycle 10%. France’s car preference was the most dominant in every given record. 

It reached more than 70%. In contrast, Germany’s car favor was also high but couldn’t get the first place in their country, also reach the lowest car preference in four nations. 
>> It reached more than 70%. In contrast, Germany’s car favor was also high but couldn’t get the first place in their country, also it reached the lowest car preference in four nations.

Their bicycle preference is higher than car, although gap between two sectors are close.
>> Their bicycle preference is higher than the car, although the gap between the two sectors are close.

In conclusion, almost every given countries generally likes to drive cars more than other vehicles.
>> In conclusion, almost every given country generally likes to drive cars more than other vehicles.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
111116 will\'s offer 윤*진 완료 2021-08-23 3
111115 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-08-23 3
111114 adventure things 정*아 완료 2021-08-23 290
111113 What do you do when something or someone tries to annoy you? 하*조 완료 2021-08-23 473
111112 Homework(*^O^*) 정*희 완료 2021-08-23 282
111111 The hardest thing to cook: Gimchi 권*정 완료 2021-08-23 365
111110 What were your best and worst trips? 홍*빈 완료 2021-08-23 385
111109 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... 박*주 완료 2021-08-22 422
111108 If I moved to another country, I would miss... 권*미 완료 2021-08-22 403
111107 Can you remember the last gift you were given? Did you like it? 노*이 완료 2021-08-22 1
111106 What festivals do you have in your city? Can you explain what... 오*은 완료 2021-08-22 351
111105 ielts task 1 bar graph 이*구 완료 2021-08-22 396
111104 home work on Aug 20 최*미 완료 2021-08-22 1
111103 What medical law do you want to be made? Share your answer in a... 정*우 완료 2021-08-22 328
111102 [8/19]Homework 박*범 완료 2021-08-22 1
111101 [8/18]Homework 박*범 완료 2021-08-22 1
111100 Are you an adventurous person? 안*윤 완료 2021-08-21 2
111099 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... 여*진 완료 2021-08-21 0
111098 What festivals do you have in your city? Can you explain what... 최*원 완료 2021-08-21 1
111097 What is your favorite look? 이*현 완료 2021-08-21 398

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]