¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented apartment rather than buying a home? Wha

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-06 272

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It sounds weird for Korean because most people dream to buy their own house. People are sick and tired of moving out when their contract end and owners ask tenants to pay more rental fee. Tenants can't change structure without owner's permission even they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and It is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. In addition, people have to spend quite huge money for transportation fees, agent commission fees and taxes whenever they move out. However, there are many advantages living in rented house. People don't have to worry about the house prices which are extremely expensive. It might be impossible for newlyweds to prepare. It can be the chances to save money while they are living rented house and will get opportunity to buy their own house. Tenants don't have to care of facility.defects and maintenance because it's owner's responsibility. To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house, I prefer to purchase my own house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! Today is....... MY BIRTHDAY! Where is my present??? kkkk kidding!!! Anyway, thanks for your ideas on your essays. Keep writing and improve your written English. I think you're better in writing than in speaking. kkkk kidding again! Have a nice day! See you tomorrow!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It sounds weird for Korean because most people dream to buy their own house.
>>> It sounds weird for Korean because most people dreamt of buying their own house.
 People are sick and tired of moving out when their contract end and owners ask tenants to pay more rental fees.
>>> CORRECT
 Tenants can't change structure without owner's permission even they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and It is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. 
>>>  Tenants can't change the room's structure without the owner's permission even if they need to make a hole for installing air conditioner and it is impossible to remodel their rooms as well. 
In addition, people have to spend quite huge money for transportation fees, agent commission fees and taxes whenever they move out.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there are many advantages living in rented house.
>>> CORRECT
 People don't have to worry about the house prices which are extremely expensive.
>>> CORRECT
 It might be impossible for newlyweds to prepare. 
>>> CORRECT
It can be the chances to save money while they are living rented house and will get opportunity to buy their own house.
>>> It can be a chance to save money while they are living in a rented house and will have an opportunity to buy their own house.
 Tenants don't have to care of facility.defects and maintenance because it's owner's responsibility. 
>>>  Tenants don't have to mind about facilities' defects and maintenance because it's the owner's responsibility. 
To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house, I prefer to purchase my own house.
>>> To sum up, there are many advantages living in rental house however, I prefer to purchase my own house.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111210 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 188
111209 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111208 What do you do when something or someone tries to annoy you? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 183
111207 Healthcare system of Korea is Helpful ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 263
111206 Where do you prefer staying while on vacation? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 220
111205 08.24 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111204 How are mentally ill patients taken cared of in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111203 Tell me the most interesting city in your country. ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111202 There are so many words with multiple meanings... I need to... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 207
111201 Is it bad to believe in superstitions? Should we keep believing... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 211
111200 page 61 and 65 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 208
111199 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 215
111198 Korean famous athelete ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 5
111197 Perhaps in the cave À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111196 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 208
111195 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111194 Teacher~ À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111193 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 172
111192 What are the important things to consider when applying for a... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111191 The pros and cons of studying at home are¡¦ ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 336

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04