¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Monday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2021-09-13 429

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What makes someone beautiful in your country?
A:I think being good to other people or being kind makes someone beautiful.
Actually, I'm not sure about it because I don't care about it, but I think good people or kind people would look beautiful.
Also, even if people look beautiful, their mind can not be good so, people need to know their mind not their exterior.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think being good to other people or being kind makes someone beautiful.

>> CORRECT!
Actually, I'm not sure about it because I don't care about it, but I think good people or kind people would look beautiful.

>> Actually, I'm not sure about it because I don't care much about it, but I think good or kind people look beautiful.
Also, even if people look beautiful, their mind can not be good so, people need to know their mind not their exterior.

>> Also, even if people look beautiful but their mind is not, they need to focus more on their thoughts and not their exterior.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111208 What do you do when something or someone tries to annoy you? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 388
111207 Healthcare system of Korea is Helpful ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 415
111206 Where do you prefer staying while on vacation? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 652
111205 08.24 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111204 How are mentally ill patients taken cared of in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111203 Tell me the most interesting city in your country. ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111202 There are so many words with multiple meanings... I need to... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 443
111201 Is it bad to believe in superstitions? Should we keep believing... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 507
111200 page 61 and 65 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 440
111199 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 447
111198 Korean famous athelete ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 5
111197 Perhaps in the cave À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111196 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 349
111195 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111194 Teacher~ À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111193 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 494
111192 What are the important things to consider when applying for a... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111191 The pros and cons of studying at home are¡¦ ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 494
111190 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 328
111189 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 358

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04