¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-13 563

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
I also love to draw and write.
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

That sounds great! You would feel more motivated in pursuing your dreams. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom.
>> If I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

I want to be an artist so I have to practice creating my songs and lyrics.
>> CORRECT

And I don't have things to do that and my room is so small to do that.
>> And I don't have a place to do that and my room is so small. 

I also love to draw and write.
>> CORRECT

And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some insperation.
>> 
And if I have my workroom in my house, it will be more fun and I will able to get some inspiration.

So if I can add a room in my house, I want to add my workroom in my house.
>>So if I can add a room in my house, I want it to be my workroom.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110642 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 482
110641 My favorite song is Troye Sivan\'s . ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 483
110640 Is always coming late a bad habit? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 1
110639 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 1
110638 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 0
110637 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 396
110636 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 496
110635 What do you think should the government about the homeless... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 649
110634 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 391
110633 15 page ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 389
110632 How does the weather influence you? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 346
110631 Some feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 327
110630 Can you think of a device that makes people\'s lives easier? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 2
110629 The country where I want to travel ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 1
110628 july twelfth conversation Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 0
110627 2 in 5 job seekers indebted as pandemic drags on: survey À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 2
110626 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 2
110625 Animals in the Farm ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 365
110624 What do you think would happen if there was only one language in... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 0
110623 7th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-06 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04