¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/27 Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2021-09-28 182

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can make a law, I would make a law what a lot of fair judges participate in trials to punish criminals. Because I think criminals should be punished appropriately for the crime, but sometimes they don't get the punishment. So I think this law is need to people in our society.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ka Hui! :)

Rules are established to protect the weaker class in the society since they are at a disadvantage if such regulations are broken. When rules are properly set and followed, they provide a stable environment and human co-existence in a community, resulting in peace and order. 

I think your suggestion is good. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can make a law, I would make a law what a lot of fair judges participate in trials to punish criminals. 
>> If I can make a law, I would where only fair judges will participate in trials to punish criminals. 

Because I think criminals should be punished appropriately for the crime, but sometimes they don't get the punishment. 
>>  I think criminals should be punished appropriately for the crimes they have committed but sometimes they don't get the punishment. 

So I think this law is need to people in our society.
>> So think this law is needed by the people in the society. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136585 Homework N À±*¼± ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-20 1
136584 How do you think society\'s definition of beauty has changed... N Ȳ*Àº ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-20 4
136583 Is traveling and visiting every country one of your goals in... N ¿À*¼Ø ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-20 0
136582 Sensible gift N ÀÓ*ÁØ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-20 4
136581 My shape N ÀÓ*ÁØ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-20 1
136580 Homework ±è*¼­ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-19 0
136579 How should we advertise ourselves? What are the dos and don\'ts? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136578 homework 04.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 5
136577 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1
136576 Are there any controversies or concerns related to the use of... ¹Ú*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-19 1
136575 HAPPY ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 6
136574 What ride do you like the most in an amusement park? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136573 Keeping up with something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136572 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136571 What can we learn from failure? ÀÌ*À± ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-19 0
136570 What architects mean to me. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136569 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing young people... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1
136568 What is your favorite school memory that you think about from... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136567 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136566 2024.04.19 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ÁøÇàÁß 2024-04-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04