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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Holidays

작성자: 최*정
2021-09-29 499

회원님의 영작문

1. If you were to make a holiday in your country, what would it be and what is the reason for creating that holiday?

If I made a holiday, it would be an Animal's day. All animals are precious and should be loved. So I will make the day for reminding people about preciousness of animals. Like children's day does, we will treat our animals around us, and donate for abandoned or injured animals, do volunteer work.

2. What's the most special thing that you have done for another person to celebrate a holiday?

When I was twentie, I had a boyfriend. I went to his home located in other city secretly on his birthday. I was planning to surprise him with a birthday cake and a gift when he came out from his home. But I couldn't light candles on the cake because I was scared of fire. So I cried alone. I hated myself that can't light candles on my boyfriend's birthday. Haha.. what a fool. Anyway so I celebrated his birthday with the cake without light, and later he lighted himself.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for answering the two questions for our Composition activity. :) Please take note of the corrections below: 

Question 1: If you were to make a holiday in your country, what would it be and what is the reason for creating that holiday?

Your Answer: If I made a holiday, it would be an Animal's day. All animals are precious and should be loved. So I will make the day for reminding people about preciousness of animals. Like children's day does, we will treat our animals around us, and donate for abandoned or injured animals, do volunteer work.

>> If I were to make a holiday, it would be Animal's day. All animals are precious and should be loved. So I will make that holiday to remind people about the preciousness of animals. Just like the message every Children's Day, we will treat our animals around us, and donate for abandoned or injured animals, or do volunteer work.

Question 2: What's the most special thing that you have done for another person to celebrate a holiday?

Your Answer: When I was twentie, I had a boyfriend. I went to his home located in other city secretly on his birthday. I was planning to surprise him with a birthday cake and a gift when he came out from his home. But I couldn't light candles on the cake because I was scared of fire. So I cried alone. I hated myself that can't light candles on my boyfriend's birthday. Haha.. what a fool. Anyway so I celebrated his birthday with the cake without light, and later he lighted himself.

>> When I was twenty years old, I had a boyfriend. I secretly went to his home located in another city for his birthday. I was planning to surprise him with a birthday cake and a gift when he comes out of his home. But I couldn't light the candles on the cake because I'm scared of fire. So I cried alone. I hated myself that I can't light candles on my boyfriend's birthday. Haha.. What a fool. Anyway, we celebrated his birthday with the cake without lighting the candles, but later he lighted it by himself.

-----------------

Great ideas for your answers. I especially liked your answer for Question 1. If I were to make a holiday, I think I would make one just like that too. I'd call it Animal Appreciation Day! :) Your answer for Question 2 is hilarious! It made me laugh while reading it! 

Have a great day ahead! 

See you later in class! 

~Miya^^
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