¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion: the most difficult place to survive;DESERT

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-30 267

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I never want to live in the desert. I think, it is the most difficult place to survive. I'll cite two reason why it is.
First, I can't drink enough water, because desert has not enough water. Water is vital thing for living things. In many survival comic books, the characters suffer because of not enough water.
Second, it's too hot. I hate hot weather, and I have nose disease so dried weather is very harmful. Of course, dried weather has lots of advantages, but desert is too dry.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Homework: What do you think it would be like to live in a desert?

I never want to live in the desert. 
>> I would never want to live in a desert.

I think, it is the most difficult place to survive.
>> I think it is the most difficult place to live in.
OR
>> I think it is difficult to survive in this place.

I'll cite two reason why it is.
>> I'll cite two reasons why.

First, I can't drink enough water, because desert has not enough water. 
>> First, I couldn't drink enough water because a desert doesn't have enough water.

Water is vital thing for living things. 
>> This is a good sentence. 

In many survival comic books, the characters suffer because of not enough water.
>> In many survival comic books, the characters suffer because of water scarcity.

Second, it's too hot.
>> This is a good sentence. 

I hate hot weather, and I have nose disease so dried weather is very harmful.
>> I hate hot weather, and I have a nose disorder so dry weather is very harmful for me.

Of course, dried weather has lots of advantages, but desert is too dry.
>> Dry weather has lot of advantages, but the weather in deserts is too dry. 



Hello, Daniel! Thanks for doing your homework. However, be careful with word usage please.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111671 How long do you study before your exam? Please tell me about... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 261
111670 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 0
111669 What is the best thing about your neighborhood? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111668 What kind of people do you like best? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 259
111667 How do movie reviews affect your interest in a certain movie? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 224
111666 special restaurant Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 227
111665 What age do you want to be a mother? Why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111664 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 5
111663 page 33 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 225
111662 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 205
111661 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 245
111660 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 226
111659 oh my god!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 266
111658 9.6 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111657 HOMEWORK : How do you introduce yourself to someone? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111656 In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 281
111655 How often do you eat out? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 264
111654 Donating money to poor people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 221
111653 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 237
111652 0906 yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04