¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-10-02 332

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I haven't thought of having one government for our world because it doesn't seem like common. People have been living in their country and try to have more comfortable life by doing various activities such as political movement. Politicians in each country put their whole efforts to make better country and they always think their citizens' benefits first. Citizens also want to get benefits from the government and don't want to spend money for other nationalities. For example, there are a lot of people who need support but there are still poor people in advanced countries. Most people want government to help their citizens first rather than helping people in poor countries. Other issues we have to consider is dictatorship. World history prove the advantages of democracy. If country runs by one ruler, it is easy to become a dictator. Russia is one of the representative country which was running by dictator and finally Its system has broken down. I believe that leader is the most import

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang! ^^ Thanks for the essay today! Enjoy the rest of your holiday! Have a good time being a nanny. kkk See you!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I haven't thought of having one government for our world because it doesn't seem like common. 
>>> CORRECT
People have been living in their country and try to have more comfortable life by doing various activities such as political movement. 
>>> CORRECT
Politicians in each country put their whole efforts to make better country and they always think their citizens' benefits first. 
>>> Politicians in each country put their whole efforts to make a better country and they always think of their citizens' benefits first. 
Citizens also want to get benefits from the government and don't want to spend money for other nationalities. 
>>> Citizens also want to get benefits from the government and don't want to spend money on other nationalities. 
For example, there are a lot of people who need support but there are still poor people in advanced countries. 
>>> CORRECT
Most people want government to help their citizens first rather than helping people in poor countries.
>>> Most people want their government to help their citizens first rather than helping people in poor countries.
 The other issue we have to consider is dictatorship. 
>>> CORRECT
The world history proves the advantages of democracy.
>>> CORRECT
 If country runs by one ruler, it is easy to become a dictator. 
>>>  If a country runs by one ruler, it is easy to become a dictator. 
Russia is one of the representative country which was running by dictator and finally Its system has broken down. 
>>> Russia is one of the representative countries which was ran by a dictator and finally its system has broken down. 
I believe that leader is the most import
>>> I believe that the leader is the most important. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111686 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 342
111685 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 3
111684 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111683 Do you know of any interesting or unique restaurants in your... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 500
111682 Men earn 1.6 times more than women in Korea : gender ministry À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111681 Date ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111680 What was the most dramatic scene you\'ve ever witnessed in real... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 0
111679 If you could have a robot to do your chores, what would you... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111678 The West ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 412
111677 27th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111676 Should there be strong punishment against racism? °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 302
111675 HOMEWORK FOR 09.07 ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111674 What do you think the most common crime in your country is? Do... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 353
111673 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111672 Ninja vs samurai À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 286
111671 How long do you study before your exam? Please tell me about... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 444
111670 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 0
111669 What is the best thing about your neighborhood? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111668 What kind of people do you like best? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 338
111667 How do movie reviews affect your interest in a certain movie? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 364

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04