¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young adult\'s most hardest thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-12 391

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
Most hardest point is find my self.
When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
Just my opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Being a young adult is probably some of the best years of your life, but equally the most stressful, right? Young adults experience different kinds of stress. It's just a matter of how you are going to manage it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
>> I think this topic is for me because I am a young adult.

Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
>> Young adults are very ambiguous to almost anything. 

Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
>> Adults usually tell us that we don't have the passion and patience. 

And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
>> And children look at us like we are very cool. 

But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
>> In reality, we are often confused. We make changes constantly and don't fix things right away. 

Most hardest point is find my self.
>> The hardest part is finding one's self. 

When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
>> When I loose my ego, it's like I am not existing in the world anymore.

Just my opinion.
>> This is just my opinion. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112335 page 40 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 490
112334 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 408
112333 Hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 466
112332 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 363
112331 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 348
112330 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112329 Homework {09/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 413
112328 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112327 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 347
112326 If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112325 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 646
112324 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112323 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 4
112322 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 5
112321 What do you miss most about your life preCOVID19? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 378
112320 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 389
112319 Do children learn bad habits at school or at home? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112318 Computer ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 434
112317 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 427
112316 what will I do in my free time with my friends ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04