¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-14 750

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had a lot of fears when I was younger than now.
And it was just about small things like a fear about monster or somethings like that.
But now, I don't have those kinds of fears.
Just I have a little fear about some insects or bees.
Now I am thinking that I was so strange because I just had a fear about monsters.
So I thought that those of fears are just useless things in my life.
But I recognized that we can grow with those fears.
If I don't had any fears, than I think I was not able to be me.
So I had those kinds of fears when I was young, and I think fears are very neccessary things in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John :)

Fear and anxiety can last for a short time and then pass, but they can also last much longer and you can get stuck with them. In some cases they can take over your life, affecting your ability to eat, sleep, concentrate, travel, enjoy life, or even leave the house or go to work or school. This can hold you back from doing things you want or need to do, and it also affects your health.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I had a lot of fears when I was younger than now.
>> I had a lot of fears when I was younger. 

And it was just about small things like a fear about monster or somethings like that.
>> Most of them are small things like fear of monsters. Something like that. 

But now, I don't have those kinds of fears.
>> CORRECT

Just I have a little fear about some insects or bees.
>> Just I have a little fear for insects. 

Now I am thinking that I was so strange because I just had a fear about monsters.
>> Now that I am thinking about it, I feel silly because I had a fear for monsters. 

So I thought that those of fears are just useless things in my life.
>> So I thought, those fears are useless. 

But I recognized that we can grow with those fears.
>> I recognize now that we can grow with our fears. 

If I don't had any fears, than I think I was not able to be me.
>> If I didn't have any fears before, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. 

So I had those kinds of fears when I was young, and I think fears are very neccessary things in my life.
>> So the fears that I had in my life before are necessary for the life that I have right now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111390 What is my best experience in Boracay? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111389 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 507
111388 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 424
111387 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111386 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111385 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111384 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 399
111383 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 462
111382 How do you manage a tight schedule? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 330
111381 Do you think it\'s disrespectful to argue with your elders? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111380 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111379 HOMEWORK : Why do women like shopping more than men? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 5
111378 Do you think the age for driving should be raised or lowered? ¼Û*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 0
111377 Sentimental value ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 383
111376 What is special about your city? Tell me 3-5 things that a... È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 434
111375 What do you imagine are the best countries in which to raise a... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 390
111374 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111373 If you can eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 474
111372 Should refugees have equal rights with Koreans at work? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 324
111371 Plz cancel today¡¯s class ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 499

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04