¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÓ
2021-10-20 207

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One of my bad behaviors is not exercising.
I am well aware that I have to exercise to prevent muscle loss.
But I hate exercise so much. It seems to me more difficult than others .
I signed up for a gym to exercise consistently.
Also I do stretching before going to bed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jennifer:)

Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. They jeopardize your health - both mentally and physically. And they waste your time and energy.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

One of my bad behaviors is not exercising.
>> CORRECT

I am well aware that I have to exercise to prevent muscle loss.
>> CORRECT

But I hate exercise so much. 
>> But I hate exercising so much. 

It seems to me more difficult than others .
>> It seems more difficult for me than others. 

I signed up for a gym to exercise consistently.
>> CORRECT

Also I do stretching before going to bed. 
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113463 Autumn season pictures ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 645
113462 Airline industry prepares to increase international filights... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 0
113461 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 2
113460 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 1
113459 online classes ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 174
113458 What kind of people do you like to meet? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 262
113457 mermaid ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 183
113456 if i have magic À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 1
113455 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 1
113454 Should parents allow their kids to be part of an organization? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 3
113453 Is it easy to forgive people for doing something bad to you? Why... ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 403
113452 What do you think of Korea¡¯s three-phase plan to return to... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 399
113451 Halloween costume ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 246
113450 What interest did you have when you were young that you are not... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 701
113449 what are the benefits of apologizing for something you have done... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 0
113448 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 0
113447 Abnormal Weather Cost South Korea 28 Trillion won last Year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113446 Short homework (I\'m annoying now) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113445 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 3
113444 oh...........It was wasteful......... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 198

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04