¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-10-21 577

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?
- People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeoing! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the composition homework :) 
Please take note of the comments below: 

Question: What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?

Your Answer: People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

>> People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve it through positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. Sometimes people choose ineffective ways like heavy drinking, heavy smoking. In my case, I tend to oversleep when I get stressed but I get headaches afterwards. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

----

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! 

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111245 Homework {08/25} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 180
111244 18th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 3
111243 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 398
111242 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 342
111241 How do you make your patients feel secured under your care as a... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 280
111240 homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 208
111239 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 303
111238 I am a worried and maximum list person Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 293
111237 My birthday ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111236 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 243
111235 Hi ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111234 When is it a perfect time to daydream? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 4
111233 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 243
111232 Tell me about the best part of your day? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111231 ielts task 2 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 252
111230 Things for School ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 242
111229 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 205
111228 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111227 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111226 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04