¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10272021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-27 469

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one. So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. I have the reason based on my own experiences.
I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them. At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others. As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations. Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee! I¡¯m proud of the way you answered your homework with proper expressions.  However, you have to focus more on subject-verb agreement. Please take note of the corrections.

- Debbie

At first glance, a worker who spend more time working than others seems to be the more loyal and better one.
>> At first glance, a worker who spends more time working than others seems more loyal and better. 

 So one might believe that working overtime means the promotion or a raise is waiting for him/her. 
>> Therefore, one might believe that working overtime means a promotion or a raise is waiting for him. 

However, I do not agree to the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 
>> However, I do not agree with the idea of working overtime being a significant reason for a promotion. 

I have the reason based on my own experiences.
>> I have a reason based on my own experiences.

I had worked in a kitchen and I was in charge of training new cooks whenever we had them.
>> I worked in a kitchen, and I was in charge of training new cooks.

 At first I thought people who spent more time working is more diligent and hardworking than others.
>> At first, I thought people who spent more time working were more diligent and hardworking than others.

As I went through various types of trainees, I came to understand that the time spent on one¡¯s job had little to do with one¡¯s capability. 
>> As I handled various types of trainees, I came to understand that time spent on one's job had little to do with one's capability.

Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his/her lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.
>> Not only spending more time meant the trainee was slow, but sometimes it also showed his lack of ability to cope with unexpected situations.

 Also, if I were an owner of a business and if someone is regularly working overtime, my first concern will be whether I were paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
>> Moreover, if I were a business owner, and if someone were regularly working overtime, my first concern would be whether I was paying for the unproductive time that the worker had spent in my business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114514 What are the things that make you laugh easily? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 646
114513 When did you last have an interview? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114512 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114511 Why is greeting important? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 1
114510 Funeral Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 388
114509 Funeral Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 322
114508 Funeral Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 308
114507 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 544
114506 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2241
114505 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 301
114504 12/3 , 12/6 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 729
114503 What is more important to take care of : mental health or... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 346
114502 Why do adults collect children\'s stuff like hello kitty or some... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 330
114501 What do you like to shop for the most? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 0
114500 Sometimes:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 261
114499 How would you describe a healthy diet? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 2
114498 12.06 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 0
114497 I like him!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 320
114496 essay about\"If you could be invisible for a day what would you... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 275
114495 I want to travel if I have a lot of money. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 346

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04