¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the things we could do to protect ourselves from crime?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2021-11-02 342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sometimes I had the question too, so I have search on Youtube.
I watched many video, and I introduce the way of one.
Before I watched it, I think the way of protecting crime is making sentences be higher.
But the conclusion of many researches is making catching chance be higher.
Because usual criminals don't think about sentences and punishments.
They think that police can\'t catch them when the sentence is not high.
If they know that they must be caught,they hesitate of give up to do crime.
And the video said, "Therefore, we let precriminals know all of criminals are caught. It is the reason of importance of reporting a crime and claim to be a witness."
I agree it, and I promise myself If I see anycrime although the victim is stranger, I will report or help it. I don't have to miss it.
I believe It will make noncrime country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Kang!

You really like writing essays.  It's a good way to learn English.  Keep on sharing your ideas.  But don't forget to read the corrections as well.  Take note of the right patterns and ask if you need to.  :)


-T. Maine


Sometimes I had the question too, so I have search on Youtube.

>>Sometimes, I have the question too so I have searched on YouTube for the answer.
 I watched many video, and I introduce the way of one.

>>I watched many videos and I saw one way.
 Before I watched it, I think the way of protecting crime is making sentences be higher.

>>Before I watched it, I thought the only way to protect us from crime is increasing the punishment for criminals.
 But the conclusion of many researches is making catching chance be higher.

>>But according to researches, the chance of getting a criminal caught is higher these days compared to the past.  
 Because usual criminals don't think about sentences and punishments.

>>Common criminals don't think about the sentence to be given to them in jail.
 They think that police can\'t catch them when the sentence is not high.

>>They think that police can't catch them when the sentence is not high.
 If they know that they must be caught,they hesitate of give up to do crime.

>>If they know that they will be caught, they will hesitate to do crimes.
 And the video said, "Therefore, we let precriminals know all of criminals are caught.

>>And the video said that it's going to let people know that all criminals were caught.

It is the reason of importance of reporting a crime and claim to be a witness."

>>It is also necessary to report a crime scene through witnesses.
 I agree it, and I promise myself If I see anycrime although the victim is stranger, I will report or help it. I don't have to miss it.

>>I agree with it.  I told myself that if I see any crime, I will report it or ask help from police officers.  I should not miss it.
 I believe It will make noncrime country.

>>I believe our country will become a crime-free place.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113110 How do you change annoying habits? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 276
113109 Who should take care of the old people there in Korea? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113108 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 530
113107 Homework from the lesson 10202021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 797
113106 29 foreigners caught heating on kOrean language test À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113105 What do politicians usually do when election day is about to... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 325
113104 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113103 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 372
113102 Do you think your parents ate healthier food at your age than... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113101 How can houses be made more environmentally friendly? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113100 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 4
113099 How do you deal with an intimidating situation/person? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 373
113098 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 6
113097 What is your favorite fashion accessory? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 360
113096 Homework for 10.12& 10.14 ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 5
113095 My weekday schedule ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 337
113094 10.20 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 0
113093 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 5
113092 doo doong... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 437
113091 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04