¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How would life be without music?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*Àº
2021-12-08 198

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that music is a kind of painting.
Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Ian!  Thank you for doing your homework. Your sentence construction is getting better. Great!

- Debbie

I think that music is a kind of painting.
>> I think music is a kind of painting.

Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
>> It is because it makes our lives colorful and diverse.

Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
>> Hence, our lives would be simple without music.

And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
>> Diversity is one of the most important factors of creativity.

In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.
>> In short, we would not be creative without music.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114223 Is it common for employers to contact workers outside of working... À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-28 5
114222 If you see a homeless person on the street asking for money,... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 342
114221 homework sport! ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114220 HOMework idioms ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114219 Street sign. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 1
114218 Christmas Invitation Letter ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 348
114217 How will computers change in the future? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 297
114216 What do you think very old people think of modern technology? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 376
114215 What is your ideal job? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 477
114214 Do you watch commercials or skip them? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 310
114213 Argument ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 693
114212 I bought a new smart phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 336
114211 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 380
114210 ÈÞ°­°ü·Ã Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 358
114209 Customer realtionship ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 298
114208 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114207 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 295
114206 If you were going to be a teacher, where would you like to teach? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 3
114205 I think Seoul is the best city in Korea. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 233
114204 The meaning of Having children to me. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 292

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04