¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you like to change in the education system in South Korea and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-10 245

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
There are a lot of things that students must learn.
But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
But there are so many things to learn more.
Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
So I want to change the system that having less special classes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

This is true. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I want to change the system of having less P.E class and other special classes.
>> CORRECT

There are a lot of things that students must learn.
>> CORRECT

But in South Korea, most people emphasize only the subjects such as math, science, and English.
>> But in South Korea, most people emphasize only on subjects such as Math, Science, and English.

But there are so many things to learn more.
>> CORRECT

Teaching about other things about the world is also important as learning about math, science, and English.
>> CORRECT

So I want to change the system that having less special classes.
>> So I want to change the system about having less special classes.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117500 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117499 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117498 My weakness ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 885
117497 What makes you happy? ÇÑ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 690
117496 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 999
117495 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1092
117494 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 858
117493 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1094
117492 2022.3.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 873
117491 202.3.15 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 813
117490 Is there anything you dislike about weekends? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1
117489 Aside from yourself, do you also worry about the health of those... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1426
117488 How do you usually cope with your stress? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1341
117487 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1181
117486 What are the ways to slow down aging? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1446
117485 What are some of the products Bloomberg focuses on? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 568
117484 Do you ever feel that you waste your free time? How? À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 853
117483 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1092
117482 Do you have a different attitude to English homework now than... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 847
117481 What is the most difficult part of learning a language? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04