¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Next year resolution

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-15 282

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is December. Unbelievable!!
Time is so fast and every new years my resolution is same.
This year become better than last year.
2021's my purpose is join in to big company musical, but I can't.
I believe next year I can do it.
But I'm so proud my self everyday everytime:)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Those are great achievements! I am very proud of you as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

It is December. Unbelievable!!
>> CORRECT

Time is so fast and every new years my resolution is same.
>> Time flies so fast and all of my new year's resolutions are the same. 

This year become better than last year.
>> This year ahs become better than last year. 

2021's my purpose is join in to big company musical, but I can't.
>> My purpose this 2021 was to join a big musical company but I didn't. 

I believe next year I can do it.
>> I believe that next year I can do it. 

But I'm so proud my self everyday everytime:)
>> Regardless of that, I am still proud of myself everyday. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114372 What is your biggest goal in life? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 510
114371 Getting older ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 405
114370 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114369 What would be the responsibilities of mother? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 352
114368 Dentist! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 757
114367 What is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen before?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 236
114366 Do you prefer Burger king or McDonald\'s why? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 6
114365 Would you rather be rich or famous? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114364 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 461
114363 I can do it!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 260
114362 How would you describe a very relaxing vacation? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 387
114361 What do you do during your company meetings? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 3
114360 Birth day is my special day. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 823
114359 What is your favorite place in your city and why? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 394
114358 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 220
114357 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 286
114356 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 589
114355 if i can change my personality ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 310
114354 break my day routine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04