¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are as one again?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-22 304

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
>> In North Korea, there are many natural resources and in South Korea, technologies have improved. 

Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
>> Also, we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.

So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
>> So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.

So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> So, I think that if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114346 Correction RQ if any. ¼­*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 7
114345 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 327
114344 movie time! ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 358
114343 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 238
114342 Painting ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 320
114341 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 8
114340 Homework. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 4
114339 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 176
114338 Cool ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 270
114337 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114336 Why ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 489
114335 2021 is almost over~ ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 858
114334 Celeb Alcohol Ads Fuel Un derage Drinking À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114333 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114332 Dog meat consumption to be put to test À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114331 underage ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 282
114330 What are your long-term plans? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 0
114329 My sitation ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 329
114328 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114327 my job ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04