¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Music can make people to one

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-05 631

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the answer is yes. For example, in the case of Arirang that is Korean traditional song, when Korean listen to this music, most of them cry. I think the melody and the lyrics are very good. In some TV program, some pianist arranged it and play it in front of audiences. When the audiences listened to it, all of them cried. I think it means most of people become one or have same feeling that is sad together. Though it isn't correct reason, but I'm sure that music can make people to one. In my experience, when I listened to the same classical music with my friend, my friend and I felt that we are the best friend. Because of it, I think music can improve the friend relationships. In conclusion, music affects lots of good things to us.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daniel!  Thank you for doing your homework. You were able to make lengthy sentences. Your answer is impressive. Keep up the good job!

- Teacher Debbie


In my opinion, the answer is yes.
>> In my opinion, yes. Music brings people together.

For example, in the case of Arirang that is Korean traditional song, when Korean listen to this music, most of them cry. 
>> Take Arirang for example. When Koreans listen to this traditional song, most of them cry.

I think the melody and the lyrics are very good. 
>> This is a good sentence.

In some TV program, some pianist arranged it and play it in front of audiences.
>> In some TV programs, some pianists arranged and played it in front of an audience.

When the audiences listened to it, all of them cried.
>> When the audience listened to it, all of them cried.

I think it means most of people become one or have same feeling that is sad together.
>> I think it means most people get the same feeling when they listen to music together.

Though it isn't correct reason, but I'm sure that music can make people to one.
>> Though that isn't the real reason, I'm sure that music can bring people together.

 In my experience, when I listened to the same classical music with my friend, my friend and I felt that we are the best friend. 
>> In my experience, when I listened to the same classical music with my friend, my friend and I felt that we were best friends. 

Because of it, I think music can improve the friend relationships. 
>> I think music can improve our relationship with our friends.

In conclusion, music affects lots of good things to us.
>> In conclusion, music brings lots of good things to us.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114398 How I take my grandma ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 443
114397 Life without holidays will be awful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 281
114396 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 922
114395 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 451
114394 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114393 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114392 Family is more important than friends. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114391 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114390 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 786
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 411
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 401
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 787
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114384 Presentation script related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114383 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114382 Why ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 787
114381 Go out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 4
114380 How important is farming in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114379 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 645

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04