¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-01-18 579

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Kindly answer the following in essay form.
What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won!

I think you have the best answer for this question. Those are very innovative ideas! They can be really helpful for us.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. 
>> I think computers need fingerprint recognition functions. 

There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
>> CORRECT

Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. 
>> Nowadays, verifying identification is mostly operated for messages. 

It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. 
>> It takes a long time and is weak for hackers. 

So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.
>> So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can have a safer and faster verification process. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116211 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116210 measures to protect and improve the mental health of children... È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116209 What was the most important thing your parents taught you? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 2
116208 Being Kind ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 372
116207 What are the things you consider important in life? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116206 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 464
116205 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 579
116204 Is there a song that makes you emotional? Which song is it and... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116203 Over 3 in 10 out-of-school children at risk of suicide : survey À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116202 Robot chefs unviled at boot camp to cut troops workloads,... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116201 mental health ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 839
116200 22-02-07 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116199 most interesting place in Korea ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 553
116198 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 644
116197 2022.2.8 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 403
116196 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 475
116195 What\'s the reason why people are no longer giving marriage... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 4
116194 Hi Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 321
116193 Writing Task (Feb 8th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 426
116192 2/8 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 424

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04