¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of renting clothes and toys?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-19 641

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I see many shops renting toys and clothes nowadays. I also see many public facilities lending toys for nothing for some period.
Renting clothes and toys benefit both customers and shop owners. For customer, they can use as many toys as they want at a reasonable price. There are also lots of expensive toys to rent. For shop owners, they can make a profit from their stock by renting them out.

As the sharing economy is getting more and more popular, making money by renting goods out is going to become common among businesses. Sharing goods is also good for our environment. No more virtue to produce and dump goods for capitalism because It is time to think about our environment for our generation and next generation to come.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! You were able to use good expressions in your work. Awesome!


- Debbie

I see many shops renting toys and clothes nowadays. 
>> This is a good sentence.

I also see many public facilities lending toys for nothing for some period.
>> I also see many public facilities lending toys for free for some period.

Renting clothes and toys benefit both customers and shop owners.
>> Renting clothes and toys benefits both customers and shop owners.

For customer, they can use as many toys as they want at a reasonable price. 
>> Customers can use as many toys as they want at a reasonable price. 

There are also lots of expensive toys to rent.
>> This is a good sentence.

 For shop owners, they can make a profit from their stock by renting them out.
>> Shop owners can make a profit from their stocks by renting them out.

As the sharing economy is getting more and more popular, making money by renting goods out is going to become common among businesses.
>> This is a good sentence.

Sharing goods is also good for our environment. 
>> This is a good sentence.

No more virtue to produce and dump goods for capitalism because It is time to think about our environment for our generation and next generation to come.
>> We should no longer produce goods that we'll just dump because it is time to think about our environment for our generation and the next generation to come.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116771 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116770 Instant noodles rank first in food output in 2020 amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116769 Do you think that working at home using the internet is good or... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 6
116768 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 804
116767 What do you like most about staying with your grandparents? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 513
116766 48.49.50 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 906
116765 45.46,47 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 745
116764 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 881
116763 4142 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1177
116762 What have you lost while traveling? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 681
116761 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 727
116760 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 571
116759 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116758 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116757 What\'s the best birthday gift you ever received? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 326
116756 2/23 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 610
116755 If exercise makes you live a lot longer, why do so many people... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 664
116754 37.38 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 689
116753 Dreamgirls ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 373
116752 Boil eggs machine ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 418

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04