¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Money is most need thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-20 1018

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Yes, we need to be wise with handling money. It can be very powerful and controlling. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
>> If I was born rich, my parents would teach me how to handle money well. 

But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
>> But if I were poor, I would want to be rich which can be dangerous. 

I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
>> I won't know how to properly use money and I won't have any economic ideas for myself. 

Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.
>> Money is something that we need but if I don't have enough knowledge to handle it, it can be dangerous. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114897 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 680
114896 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 0
114895 Why can\'t we see stars in the morning? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 2
114894 In other countries, when someone gets old they often go to live... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 280
114893 eating ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 397
114892 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 1
114891 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 1685
114890 Do you feel safe when you use public transportation? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 1
114889 When is the best time to give smartphones to our kids? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 0
114888 Do you think smartphone and time increase or decrease... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 2
114887 My friend ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 315
114886 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114885 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1259
114884 If you are not able to forgive others, you carry the burden on... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 391
114883 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1195
114882 Kids have to learn how to wash laundry ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 317
114881 The pademic effect : more Koreans obese À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 2
114880 My thoughts about vaccine ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 2355
114879 German village ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 2
114878 boring time ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 270

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04