¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Money is most need thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-20 1064

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Yes, we need to be wise with handling money. It can be very powerful and controlling. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
>> If I was born rich, my parents would teach me how to handle money well. 

But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
>> But if I were poor, I would want to be rich which can be dangerous. 

I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
>> I won't know how to properly use money and I won't have any economic ideas for myself. 

Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.
>> Money is something that we need but if I don't have enough knowledge to handle it, it can be dangerous. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114266 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 952
114265 On what occasions do you give flowers in your country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 588
114264 If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114263 If you can give a present to your parents, what would it be and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 0
114262 Halloween ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 607
114261 Homework {11/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 474
114260 What are the things that you love to buy? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 349
114259 What can we do with some rocks? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114258 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114257 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 470
114256 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114255 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 468
114254 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 809
114253 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 0
114252 Stuffing and emptying ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 407
114251 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 512
114250 How do you think you will change in the future? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 527
114249 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 497
114248 choose the correct tense of the verb ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 472
114247 My experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04