¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-18 803

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, marriage is important.
If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
And also there is another function of marriage.
We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. It's a personal choice so we should respect everyone's opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, marriage is important.
>> CORRECT

If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
>>If people don't marry, we can't continue our history.

So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
>> So I think marriage is important for the next generations. 

And also there is another function of marriage.
>> There are also other functions for marriage. 

We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
>> We can earn money together if we marry, so we can live more comfortably. 

And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
>> Also, I think we can get married for our loved ones. 

Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
>> Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge other people to feel think the same way.

But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.
>> At some point, I think marriage is important and good in my life. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116934 I think it\'s acutally not sad story :) Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 695
116933 If you were a very rich person, Where would you go for your next... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 399
116932 Do you think ego also affects a person\'s leadership? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116931 What food can you cook or prepare well? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116930 3/1 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 598
116929 Is going to coffee shops popular in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116928 The war between Ukraine and Russia ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 804
116927 Can you consider inciting a war a solution to diplomatic issues? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116926 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116925 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 375
116924 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 900
116923 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 754
116922 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 856
116921 Strawvberry festival. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1169
116920 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 0
116919 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 616
116918 Announcement ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 877
116917 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116916 What are some things you do to maintain your car? What are good... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116915 What are some countries that you would never visit with your... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04