¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Feb 27th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-01 1199

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Bungee jumping?>>
I do hate bungee jumping.
I loved to ride the rides at the amusement park.
I wrote in past tense ¡°LOVED¡±
15 years ago, when I was riding a Viking ride. I remember the moment vividly. When the Viking started going up, swinging back and forth, for the first twenty, thirty second I enjoyed it very much. But I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest and could hardly breath. And my eye sight went slowly and I passe out since. When I opened my eyes, I noticed my friends who I went with were all beside me, some talking to the operator of the ride and some making phone calls to 119. But a few minutes later, I passe out again. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on the bed transported by an ambulance. I was diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia. The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyse the reaction of my heart with the data. I replied ¡°Are you insane?¡±

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung!

Wow! That's totally an insane thing to ask a weird question from a doctor. I guess, I understand why wouldn't try it. It's really not safe for you to try extreme sports activities due to your condition. Just make sure to keep yourself safe and healthy all the time. Let go of all your worries because it's also not good for your health. Just enjoy life and what it gives you.

Thank you for sharing and have a nice day! 

~T. Roanne ^_^
===============================================
I do hate bungee jumping.
>> Correct! 
I loved to ride the rides at the amusement park.
>> Correct! 
I wrote in past tense ¡°LOVED¡±
>> Correct! 
15 years ago, when I was riding a Viking ride. I remember the moment vividly. 
>> Correct! 
When the Viking started going up, swinging back and forth, for the first twenty, thirty second I enjoyed it very much. 
>> Correct! 
But I suddenly felt a great pain in my chest and could hardly breath. 
>> Correct! 
And my eye sight went slowly and I passe out since. 
>> And my eyesight went slowly and I have passed out from. 
When I opened my eyes, I noticed my friends who I went with were all beside me, some talking to the operator of the ride and some making phone calls to 119. 
>> Correct! 
But a few minutes later, I passe out again. 
>> But a few minutes later, I passed out again. 
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on the bed transported by an ambulance. 
>> Correct! 
I was diagnosed with cardiac arrhythmia. 
>> Correct! 
The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyse the reaction of my heart with the data. 
>> The doctor asked me to ride the Viking ride again with an equipment on my chest so that it could record every symptom of my heart during riding and he could analyze the reaction of my heart with the data. 
I replied ¡°Are you insane?¡±
>> Correct! 



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115626 Why I like watching more than reading. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 1043
115625 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 1168
115624 Are simple joys as valuable as complex experiences? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 458
115623 If you could stop a bad habit that you have, what would you stop? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 690
115622 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 635
115621 How do you think can we encourage people to take the COVID-19... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 517
115620 Stay healthy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 1
115619 Should companies focus more on clean technology?. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 827
115618 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 1
115617 How do you handle pressure? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 376
115616 How do you try to relieve stress? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 552
115615 Are people always honest when they make excuses? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 0
115614 Why do you think family gatherings are important? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 3
115613 What is your birthday wish this year? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 711
115612 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 693
115611 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 905
115610 b Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115609 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 435
115608 How do you think can we encourage people to take the COVID-19... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 460
115607 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 482

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04