¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I can\'t believe still:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-03-07 1009

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Please be careful to talk.
I think every cases start yo begin at mouth.
This in the war between Russia and Ukraine, only young people died.
When I first saw that news, I think just how could they do that...
Young people they don't know every thing just the war broke out at the place where they thought it was only training.
I can't believe still. Now is 2022 but people they are still same a long time ago.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!
 
I agree with you. Nothing good will come out from wars. It will not make anything better. They are just risking lives of innocent people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Please be careful to talk.
>> We need to be careful with what we say. 

I think every cases start yo begin at mouth.
>> I think every war starts because of what people say. 

This in the war between Russia and Ukraine, only young people died.
>> Only young people died between the war or Ukraine and Russia, 

When I first saw that news, I think just how could they do that...
>> When I first saw it in the news, I was wondering how could they do such thing. 

Young people they don't know every thing just the war broke out at the place where they thought it was only training.
>> Young people don't know anything about wars since they were not trained. 

I can't believe still. Now is 2022 but people they are still same a long time ago.
>> I still can't believe it. It's already 2022 and people are still the same. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116330 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 10
116329 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 685
116328 What do children do at a playground? / What do you play with... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 692
116327 lesson 1 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 607
116326 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 6
116325 What would life be like without friends? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 875
116324 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 525
116323 ESSAY: What is the best and most enjoyable activity for the... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 702
116322 Homework (2/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116321 22-02-11 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116320 22-02-09 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116319 Korea: High-profile suicides spark cyber-bullying petition À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116318 How do you manage your anger at work? Share your thoughts and... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116317 How do you respectfully oppose someone\'s opinions? Answer in a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116316 How do you use body language when you communicate in English? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 700
116315 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 12
116314 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1554
116313 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116312 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 2
116311 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04