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영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

what kinds of social activities do you do in church?

작성자: 김*경
2022-03-09 393

회원님의 영작문

I have three social activities in the church.
First, One of the departments that I belong to is the English worship department where I work as a department accountant. Speaking of the English worship, it is the worship where foreigners feel free to attend. We have a foreign pastor. Now we have four foreign graduate students attending English worship every Sunday.
Second, I am also a Sunday School teacher to help Korean children do English worship. Our Sunday school has tried to have more children attend the English service and recruit more teachers to help them. So I got to participate in it this time.
Third, I also begin to be an AWANA teacher in March. AWANA is derived from the letters of "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2 Timothy. Awana is an international evangelical Christian nonprofit organization in child and youth discipleship. We are are teaching the Bible and sometimes are discussing what they read with students. It's interesting, but so demanding job.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve!

Thank you for sharing about your role in the church! I am amazed by your churches' concern for kids. I also agree about the work being so hard! I also feel the same, but I think it will be definitely worth it. :)

For today's corrections, nothing much! Just some typographical errors and I gave some suggestions. Your answers are always well said, so I look forward to the next one.

Great job!
-Teacher Violet

I have three social activities in the church.

>> CORRECT!

First, One of the departments that I belong to is the English worship department where I work as a department accountant. 

>> First, one of the departments that I belong to is the English worship department where I work as a department accountant.  (capitalization) 


Speaking of the English worship, it is the worship where foreigners feel free to attend. 

>> CORRECT!

We have a foreign pastor. 

>> CORRECT!

Now we have four foreign graduate students attending English worship every Sunday.

>> CORRECT!

Second, I am also a Sunday School teacher to help Korean children do English worship. 

>> CORRECT!

Our Sunday school has tried to have more children attend the English service and recruit more teachers to help them. 

>> CORRECT!

So I got to participate in it this time.

>> CORRECT!

Third, I also begin to be an AWANA teacher in March. 

>> Third, I also began to be an AWANA teacher in March.


AWANA is derived from the letters of "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2 Timothy. 

>> CORRECT!
OR >> AWANA is an acronym for "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2nd Timothy. 

Awana is an international evangelical Christian nonprofit organization in child and youth discipleship.

>> CORRECT!

We are are teaching the Bible and sometimes are discussing what they read with students. 

>> We are are teaching the Bible and sometimes are discussing what they read with students. 


It's interesting, but so demanding job.

>> It's an interesting but very demanding job.

OR >> It's interesting, but is also a very demanding job.


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