¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-03-23 706

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the advantages or disadvantages of modern medicine?
One advantage is that we can get over easily in a short period with modern medicine. There¡¯re millions of drugs we can buy at a drugstore or even at a convenience store.
However, the disadvantage comes from the same fact that we can buy nearly any medicine within 10 minutes, no matter where we are. Human body needs a kind of symptoms, like high fever, cough, soar throat, ant etc as a way of self cure and a certain level of immunity. But buying and taking the medicine easily, we don¡¯t allow our bodies to have those symptoms that are necessary to strength self-defense and immune system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, U Seung! 

You are right! Having the modern medicine makes it easier for us to access it, especially during the emergencies. We should also not be too dependent on medicines because it can weaken our body at the same time.

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
=========================================
One advantage is that we can get over easily in a short period with modern medicine. 
>> Correct! 
There¡¯re millions of drugs we can buy at a drugstore or even at a convenience store.
>> Correct! 
However, the disadvantage comes from the same fact that we can buy nearly any medicine within 10 minutes, no matter where we are. 
>> Correct! 
Human body needs a kind of symptoms, like high fever, cough, soar throat, ant etc as a way of self cure and a certain level of immunity. 
>> The human body needs a kind of symptoms, like high fever, cough, sore throat, ant etc. as a way of self cure and a certain level of immunity. 
But buying and taking the medicine easily, we don¡¯t allow our bodies to have those symptoms that are necessary to strength self-defense and immune system.
>> But buying and taking the medicine easily, we don¡¯t allow our bodies to have those symptoms that are necessary to strengthen self-defense and immune system
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116301 Why I like shopping. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 713
116300 Why I like saturday. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 623
116299 Writing Task (Feb 9th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 920
116298 2/10 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 632
116297 Homework ¼Õ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 661
116296 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 539
116295 homework(1) Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 556
116294 homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116293 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1216
116292 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1037
116291 Affect of newspaper ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 715
116290 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 722
116289 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 712
116288 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116287 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116286 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116285 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 462
116284 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 591
116283 The Plant-based meat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 2
116282 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04