¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I will advise them to stop smoking.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-24 1106

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will advise them to stop smoking. Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person. Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. I have two sons. One is a high school student and the other is a college student. Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. I think prior education is the best.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

As I said, good advice! It is still important for kids to learn on their own. We can educate them well so that they will make proper choices. Parents who are strict with their children without educating them to make children more curious so they tend to try the vice more. I do hope more children get educated.

For today's homework, great sentences! Again, there are sentences best merged into one. Also, very important: please avoid starting your sentences with 'and', 'so', 'but' and 'because'. These might be normal when speaking, but not advisable when writing.

Keep it up, Elliot! I love your thoughts and your essays have great substance.
Have a nice weekend!
-Teacher Violet

I will advise them to stop smoking.
>> CORRECT!

Even though I have never smoked. I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking.  
>> Even though I have never smoked, I know It is so difficult for someone to stop smoking. 

So, if someone quits smoking, we think he is a great person.
>> That's why if someone quits smoking, we think of him as a great person. 

Nevertheless, I know some people that quit smoking. 
>> Nevertheless, I know some people who quit smoking. 

So, if he decides to do it strongly and family helps them. He can do it. 
>> So, if he strongly decides to do it and his family helps them, he can do it. 

But if they would smoke. I would tell them not to hurt anyone.
>> If they smoke, I would tell them not to hurt anyone.

Anyway, not learning to smoke is easier than quitting. 
>> CORRECT!

I have two sons. 
>> CORRECT!

One is a high school student and the other is a college student. 
>> CORRECT!

Usually I repeatly tell them not to learn to smoke. 
>> I repeatedly tell them not to learn to smoke. 

I think prior education is the best.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116781 Are instant noodles unhealthy? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116780 The weekend of the third. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116779 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1081
116778 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116777 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 694
116776 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 981
116775 Swimming routine ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 3
116774 When did you first learn to swim? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 4
116773 Know what I want to do ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1023
116772 Teleporting ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 713
116771 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116770 Instant noodles rank first in food output in 2020 amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116769 Do you think that working at home using the internet is good or... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 6
116768 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1043
116767 What do you like most about staying with your grandparents? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 719
116766 48.49.50 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1097
116765 45.46,47 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 925
116764 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1114
116763 4142 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1449
116762 What have you lost while traveling? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 860

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04