¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think we¡¯d better not borrow money

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-29 1349

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had borrowed money a long time ago. When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elliot! 

Thank you again for answering today's homework. I also didn't want to owe anybody money, and I didn't understand people who borrow money. Recently though, because of some unexpected financial needs, I had to borrow some money from my friend. I feel really bad and stressed about it because I always want to pay them back as soon as possible. It also feels terrible when most of the salary goes into paying debts.

Today's sentences were really good, just please avoid using So, But, Because, and And at the beginning of sentences. Usually, you can use these to connect two clauses to make a complex sentence. Other than that, very good! I hope you are proud of yourself :)

-Teacher Violet

I had borrowed money a long time ago. 
>> CORRECT!

When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. 
>> When I bought my house, I borrowed money from my parents and from a bank. 

When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. 
>> When we need money in our lives, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have some in our account so we usually borrow money from family or collegues in a short time. 

And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. 
>> Then I pay the money back within the same day or the next day.

I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. 
>> CORRECT!

I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I have prepared some money in case I suddenly need it.

Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 
>>  Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone so we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 

I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.
>>  I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money but It¡¯s important that we should prepare for that time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117463 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1163
117462 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117461 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 786
117460 ESSAY: Parents should be held responsible for their children\'s... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 750
117459 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 963
117458 ESSAY: Morals or money? Which one is necessary to survive?... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 830
117457 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117456 If you were a celebrity, what kind of movie would you like to... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 853
117455 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117454 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1090
117453 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1
117452 1. Do you think that a heart transplant from a pig is a medical... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117451 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 886
117450 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117449 Why Fintech? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1119
117448 High Hopes ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 830
117447 Biggest goal in my life À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 669
117446 What are your weaknesses? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 826
117445 If you can change something in the past, what would it be? Share... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 973
117444 What do you have in your bucket list? Write 5 examples with... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1172

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04