¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

online

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-05-09 472

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.

Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.

Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.

But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.

It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Ms. Lily!
Thank  you for allowing me to read your thought today. Keep writing to develop your skill.
Have a great day!
T. Aki~
Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.
>>> CORRECT!
Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.
>>> Their purpose is only to win the elections.
Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.
>>> Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and between men and women.
But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.
>>> But venting their complaint online is not democratic behavior.
It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
>>> It seems to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118543 2022.4.26 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 385
118542 What does the holiday stand for? Why is this holiday celebrated? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 585
118541 best part of my life ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 606
118540 What is your best experience in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 456
118539 Homewark ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118538 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118537 4/26 homework (p≧w≦q) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 429
118536 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 0
118535 What I want to change in Korea\'s education system. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 504
118534 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 4
118533 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 2
118532 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 1
118531 Writing Task(Apr 26th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 663
118530 What\'s your favorite childhood memory? Explain your answer in... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 426
118529 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 515
118528 What is the difference between urban and rural schools? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 388
118527 Do you like the decoration of your home? Why or Why not? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 404
118526 home work ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 458
118525 What kinds of personality traits do you hate? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 489
118524 My true abilities and intelligence. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-26 428

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04