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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework

작성자: 윤*원
2022-06-27 1084

회원님의 영작문

When we travel, we travel with our family or friends. The goal of vavction is enjoy and relax. So the benefits of traveling is we can relax our brain and body and we can have a nice memory with our closers. And i think people prefer traveling abroad because their a lot of things that we couldn't have experience in our country and we can contact another culture with foreigners.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Se Won,
Improving your well-being is one of the fundamental benefits of traveling. Traveling makes you more mentally and physically healthy, it can improve your communication skills and traveling can expand your horizons. Traveling with family encourages family bonding. Away from life's everyday distractions and long working hours, families are able to spend uninterrupted time together as well as it reminds you to appreciate the little things.
Most people prefer traveling abroad because they enjoy relaxation, new cultures, foreign food, or incredible landscapes different from their normal surroundings. And the richness of different cultures and the variety and majesty of different nature in the countries located on different continents is so overwhelmingly powerful that it attracts the travelers like a magnet. It also expands your outlook toward humanity. The wonder and the awe that keeps your interest in traveling abroad also comes from the difference in ways of living, eating, drinking, and fighting with day-to-day struggles to carry on. Have a safe trip. ~ Teacher QUENNY..:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we travel, we travel with our family or friends. The goal of vavction is enjoy and relax. 
>> When we travel, we enjoy traveling with family or friends. . The goal is to enjoy, relax and have a vacation. 
So the benefits of traveling is we can relax our brain and body and we can have a nice memory with our closers.
>> So the benefits of traveling are we can relax our brain and body as well as it can help us make memorable memories with our closest friends and family. 
And i think people prefer traveling abroad because their a lot of things that we couldn't have experience in our country and we can contact another culture with foreigners.
>> And I think people prefer traveling abroad because their a lot of things that we couldn't experience in our own country and we can learn and try another culture with foreigners.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we travel, we travel with our family or friends. The goal of vavction is enjoy and relax. So the benefits of traveling is we can relax our brain and body and we can have a nice memory with our closers. And i think people prefer traveling abroad because their a lot of things that we couldn't have experience in our country and we can contact another culture with foreigners.





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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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